The drudgery associated with a 9-5 job burdens an individual with many things (high blood pressure, a strict 10pm bedtime, an increased risk of congestive heart failure, etc…) but one aspect of corporate slavery that I LOVE is judging coworkers based on the various pictures, trinkets and gewgaws that crowd their desks. Let me explain:
For most of us the American office is a stale, artificial place populated by buzzing workhorses stuffed into their polyester pantsuits or pleated chinos. Stuck behind desks –constructed with particle board and the sweat of a 12 year old Filipino girl—we bury ourselves in work, trying not to suffocate from cheap ties and stale air. Cultivating substantive personal relationships in such a harried, synthetic environment is a task most of us choose not to undertake. So, we line our desks with things. Things that say to the world “I exist outside of these three cubicle walls, and here’s a photo of my Grandmother to prove it!” An efficient solution to the otherwise nauseating task of actually getting to know the people you work with. Whether we realize it or not, the photos and tchotchkes we choose to display are laden with meaning. Meaning that I zealously dissect somewhere between my first bagel and last email of the day, so enjoy the fruits of my work-time procrastination!
What your office says about you:
- The potted fern on Lisa’s desk, though intended to relate her fondness for nature, actually says ”my nether regions are awash with wiry, untamed pubic hairs”
- The owner of the cubicle two rows over, the one that looks like a shelf from your local perfumery –littered with candles and fragrant spritzers –is clearly saying “I plan to fart…a lot”
- That desk and trashcan filled with empty cans of Caffeine/Taurine/Ginseng packed energy drinks is saying “I’m nursing a wicked hangover and a particularly vicious case of psychomotor agitation.”
- How about Teressa in accounting? The framed pictures of each of her 8 cats delivers a clear communication: Teressa really likes cats, and she’s probably had a yeast infection for the past 5 years.
- Hank’s artfully arranged books that are unrelated to his professional work screams: “I don’t read and am deeply insecure about it!”
- And the guy that’s worked here for 10 years and still has a completely barren desktop, you should tell him his psychopath is showing.
Corey
Katie
No more blogging i guess : (